mmmoth asked:Hello Yogi! I'm turning 21 in less than 4 months and life seems to get darker as I go. I feel angrier with the world and sad about it, and I feel as though i haven't quite found the people in which I can associate with. I just quit my job which made me depressed and anxious and that has lifted a weight off my shoulders, but there's something missing. I feel unhappy most of the time when, really, I don't have much reasons to be unhappy...
You are not alone. This is the hallmark of the modern world, especially of modern society. It is a pronounced and lingering sense of lack.
Then we are told how to fix it. Go to school. Get a job. Find a significant other. Make money. Have sex. Get married. Get pretty clothes. Be like the celebrities. Go on expensive vacations. Get cool cars.
You can’t sell people shit they don’t need if they are happy and content. You can’t perpetuate archaic and corpulent systems if people have the time to question them. That sense of lack, anxiety, insecurity is how we are controlled.
But there is no overlord. There is no evil and malicious bad guy helming the whole process. Even the people who profit from it all are themselves drowning in confusion and pain, which is what drives their role in it as well.
What is at the core of this problem? Ego. The term ego has had a lot of uses over time and as a result it isn’t always clearly understood in the context in which it is being used.
Here in this context, ego is the contrived and unreal sense of self. We are born into this mysterious and vivid world of sensory experience. At first, we know and need no language. We owe no identity, no aspiration, nothing. We live in pure experience and aliveness.
But as we get older, we have confused demands put on us by confused people. We have to define ourselves and “set ourselves apart from everyone else” so that we can be accepted into schools. We have to have ambitions and career aspirations, but only the ones that fit into society such that we can make money and “contribute.”
We wind up creating a character for us to use and play the game of society. But we forget it’s a game and we forget that we aren’t the character.
Then everything becomes derived. We limit our joys and desires, passions and inspirations, to that single character. Who you take yourself to be determines what you take the world to be and how you go about finding happiness in the world.
There is no way to win that game. The idea that it can or should be won is nothing but materialistic philosophy. Whoever dies with the most stuff or with the coolest experiences wins.
That sense of lack and lingering feeling of anxiety is never going to be satisfied or quenched by trying to fill it with things. It’s like drinking saltwater and only growing more thirsty. Why can’t happiness be found that way? Because the whole thing is based on a lie. You are trying to make a character happy and whole rather than awakening from the confusion that makes you think you are limited to the character and individual you play in daily life.
The thing you are missing, that we all feel is missing, is YOU. Your wholeness will never come about because you are already whole.
On one level it’s like great! What a relief. But on another level it’s like fuck…it would be easier just to buy a ferrari and be happy for the rest of eternity, if that were possible.
Instead, we are forced to confront our own ignorance, our own confusions and desires and preferences, so that we can finally recognize and be as we actually are: radiant and blissful consciousness.
If you are and always have been that blissful Beingness and yet you do not know and experience that right now, then you can only imagine the amount of confusion standing between the two! And yet confusion is very flammable. Being of the unreal, it can’t do anything but vanish.
"Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are." ~ Eckhart Tolle
That is the difference between ego and Being. Ego isn’t alive nor is it an entity within you that’s weighing you down. It’s your own operating system of judgments and definitions that have been mistaken as the operator itself.
First liberate yourself from that confusion. Rediscover the immediacy of peace and joyful lovingness that can diffuse from your soul at any and every moment. It is free from conditions, identities, and activities.
Then with that newfound peace and freedom, the rediscovery of your innate wholeness, you may return to the game and your operating system and really play it.
The ego is what cares about winning and losing, finding pleasure or pain in accordance with the two. It’s the sincerity of your existential Being, the Heart of your Existence, which enjoys the game, the dance, for and as itself. Outcome is a small way to live and reduce your joys.
The world, the people, the jobs cannot give you happiness. But when you are willing to discover the dimension of peace and bliss within you that surpasses all that the mind can imagine, you have something beautiful to give the world and the people in it.
A book to get you started, which I cannot recommend highly enough, is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Namaste :) Much love